Bob the Badger is my Brother

Six years imprisoned, my dear pal and brother. Soon to be seven, my sanity zero. Yet, one day I hold hope - I seize the air with conviction, reaching for the glowing screen whilst darkness envelops the room. One day, he'll be released once more, my dear pal and sibling - Bob the Badger.

I stare at the screen of the game which forged my future in my past. I know these levels more than I know myself. Level one, a jungle, 82 crates and hidden coloured jewel. Level 19's a pun on a popular tomb raider. Level 15 has a hidden teleporter to a secret level. I know them so well, and yet I still play them. My first boyfriend called me obsessed. I sure showed him! I made him play the catalogue of games until he was good at them, but not as good as me. We'd met through liking the first game, so I decided to latch onto him like horny terrier to a teenager's leg. When he'd asked me if I'd like jewellery for my birthday, I requested a nose stud with the same coloured gem as the one from Bob's third game, the level Deep Bubble. He left, after that, but it's part of the package. If you're with me, you're with Bob, my brother; a badger, my hero, my saviour.

My memories sink back to a time of transcendence; I was young, inspired and new to my school. Beaten and bruised by bullies of youth, my best friend and brother healed my pain. As my thumbs dance to the beat of my heart, I can't help but lose myself in reverie at how he taught me his fierce "Phalanx" to push away those bullies. Sure, I was sent to the head-teacher's office and had to write 'I am not obsessed with a badger' several hundreds of times, but it was worth it. He was obedient, yet kind, always following my instructions, knowing exactly what to do to soothe my upset. He'd leap over a pool of electric eels just to put a smile on my face.

Then he was imprisoned.

Activation, that's what they're called - Bob the Badger's publisher. Their article and announcement still fill my face with pallor, that article when they announced there'd be no more Bob. Imprisoned. Hiatus. My thoughts race in frustration at how he was made to seem like a villain in an age where guns in games are seen as "good". Activation made Bob drop the soap in their grimy shower. That poor brother of mine.

Dear Activation, I'd often write, Bob means more to us than we mean to you, apparently and by "we" I meant the forum of Bob the Badger fanatics who'd come together, unified from a gaming animal and comparing times we could finish a level in. Platforming games still have a place in this world, and it's time to bring Bob the Badger back to those who'd loved him, even in that one game where Bob wore a beanie and rapped enemies into submission, just to be "hip" and "with it". Sure, it sparked a group of forum-goers to do the same to a group of thugs, causing more casualties than victories, but it's because Bob has influenced so many of us, I... mean... so many of those people. Please find it in your heart to bring back Bob.

Dear anonymous gamer whom we think is a teenage girl, they'd patronise back, we have plans for Bob in the unforeseeable future and will bring him back when we deem it appropriate. Games are now about realism, not badgers people who bite the hand that fed them. In the meantime, thank you for supporting Activation. Here is a free copy of Call of Booty. Enjoy the fierce gun fiasco that resembles every other game. Okay, so their response may have been exaggerated, but my point still stands. They will not release Bob, my brother, any time soon.

I continue playing Bob the Badger on the console, thinking about the memories we've shared, with no new ones to come. I have to be the best at his games. I won't let anyone else be better than me. Those time trials need me at the top of the world record leader boards. Okay, so it may have taken me several months to beat just one level's time, despite knowing every jump, cut corner and badger dash route, but nothing compares to knowing Bob as well as I do. My thumb nerves may have been shot to shreds from pressing the D-pad so heavily, my eyes hurting from the concentration levels and my work suffered, but it's all or nothing in those moments. I let everyone else have the other levels, online - my way of saying I'll share Bob, but he'll always be mine for that one level - Badgered.

When asked to endure another hobby by other friends and family, I knitted a badger hat. When I picked up a violin, I'd play Bob the Badger tunes. When I began to skate, I would produce a guttural sound, the one Bob makes when he dies, when I found myself face-up to the clouds. Bob found his way into everything and I found a way to make everything related to Bob.

I'm often asked what kind of music I'm into, as this seems to be the default question new people ask one another. I always respond with jazz and jungle beats. Corny, I know. Bob's musical style was often melodically jazzy, without ever stabbing into anyone's ears, almost like a relaxing blanket of cool to comfort any listener. It was because of this that I started playing a cornet - kind of like a trumpet which gave birth to a mini version. Bob made me who I am. I suppose I am defined through Bob, but that's okay, I think.

There was once a local newspaper article, detailing how I'd gone out of my way to make our tillage, too small for a town and too large for a village, into something much more exotic than the shades of grey it actually was. I was proud of that achievement. It was all to goad one of the executive developers of the last Bob the Badger game to visit and record a documentary with me. All I wanted was to ask a few questions and record a video into the making of the series. Activation found out and shut the project down, those swines. It was either that or the personal questions about the developer's marriage, but I like to think it was the former. The article made me out to be some kind of freak, though. Shame on them! Since then, I became known as "Badger Girl" in the tillage, which suits me fine, but it will never help bring back Bob, now.

A heavy sigh escapes my lungs as I finish yet another story run of the first Bob the Badger game. This speed run was just one hour, eight minutes. Not good enough. My time was beaten by 2 seconds, last time. It was those plants, they held me up this time! Oh well, until Activation release Bob from his prison, all I have are my memories and Bob's past efforts.

He is a habit, a comfort, an obsession... and Bob the Badger is my brother.