Sun in my Heart, a Breeze on my Back (Blog)

This past weekend, I went down south of the UK to attend a wedding. The wedding was between one of my university housemates and another from our English course at the time. So, naturally, the wedding was down in Cornwall, where we had gone to university.

What makes this even more special for me is that I've been on-and-off contact with both these two and our group from university. Truth of the fact was that, since graduating back in 2011, I ended up in a very turbulent job where the hours weren't social. Liz, my partner at the time, became my sole focus for what little free time I had, with Dark Matter: Hudokai becoming a project I worked on to keep me sane. So, because I prioritised things differently, it meant it was only recently, when Poly and I split and the pandemic occurred, that contact became more regular again. I am forever thankful for this contact. It kept me going during our first lockdown back in 2020 and without it I really would have felt much more lonely. After all, I live much further away these days and I don't drive, making even time outside of lockdown conditions a bit difficult for visiting. So, being invited to the wedding of two of these people, and therefore seeing many familiar faces again in-person, was very special.

It was a beautiful wedding. The perfect wedding, in my opinion. And I was very, very happy. The happiest I had been for quite some time, in fact. Seeing these people, who it was clear I loved fondly, who had come from much of the southern end of the country and even from Norway, and just interacting with them was delightful. Many of them are able to see each other every now and again, too, meaning they were used to seeing each other's faces. Some of these people I hadn't seen in person for a decade and, my goodness, did it feel like no time had passed when we got back together.

The whole experience gave me time to reflect on my own mental state. I don't often talk about this, but truthfully I have experienced some anguish in more recent months. I think a lot of it can be put down to being very alone where I am, right now. Following my divorce with Poly, I'm just in a different part of the country, on my own. As my own workplace doesn't offer remote working options, I feel somewhat chained to the office location, too. Thinking about how the last few months have gone in addition to seeing these wonderful people again, has really made me re-evaluate what I should do next.

Time will tell.